Symbolism – It’s Everywhere…

“What’s with the Pink Chandelier?”

First of all – I love pink, sparkly, gorgeous things. God made me a girl, and I have embraced the role with a passion. I find a certain degree of strength in femininity – despite what society thinks. I believe in the role God intended for women. It’s not demeaning, and we are FAR from inferior beings. Our God-given talents are used to their fullest capacity when we live a life of service to the Lord and when we are honored and respected by a God-fearing man. God called for men to be the head of the household, and leaders of our spiritual wellbeing so that they may be less of the world and more in His likeness. A good Christian man is one of His greatest gifts to women, and since that is the standard He has set for us, it is up to us to be the virtuous woman who deserve such a man. Therefore – I LOVE being a girl!

Secondly, life brings changes. That’s the only ‘constant’ we have in this crazy, chaotic world. Change is scary because of all the unknowns that we have yet to see. It’s a lot like walking down a dark hallway- it would be much easier with a little light. I, personally, have always been fascinated with the concept of light. When I was young, I heard a story about a King who gave his 3 sons 1 year to return with enough of something to fill an entire room. Whoever succeeded would be the one to inherit his kingdom. The first two brothers brought physical THINGS, like pieces of cloth and hay, but they did not have enough. The last brother, however, brought a lamp, and its light filled every corner of the space.

Additionally, The parable in the bible about the lamp on a stand is quite similar. These examples show the symbolism between being a Christian in an evil world, and being a light in the darkness. We as Christians are called to be lights that will attract the curious, warm the weary, calm the anxious, and lead the stray; and that is a responsibility that will never be complete.

Whether you are entering a new grade level, a new school, or even a new clothing size, change is always easier when you are not alone. God has blessed me with the struggles and trials I’ve endured

… I’ll give you a minute to wrap your brain around that statement …

–So, I’ve combined my love and respect of femininity with God’s call to shine my light. The ‘Pink Chandelier’ is how I visualize strong Christian women. We are beautiful, functional, valuable and visible … But we also require maintenance. We appear fragile, and those who truly treasure us will “Handle with Care.”

I feel compelled to pass on what I’ve learned to those who might benefit. It’s hard enough being a teenager in this world, but it’s even harder to be a Christian woman. It is for that reason I’m offering my light …

When the Sensitive Soul Becomes Desensitized…




A highly sensitive topic for many sensitive people is Benevolence.  We are drawn to care for the less fortunate. We feel a sense of purpose in serving others, often putting everyone before ourselves. Our strong sense of justice, fairness , and truth dictates that no one should go without help… 

But, inevitably, we experience the sting of the ungrateful, unappreciative, and entitled. We feel preyed upon, victimized, and hurt — right? 
The more we are taken advantage of, the less we want to help… 
But the less we help, the colder we become. 
Before we know it we have lost faith in humanity, and feel lost without purpose… 

Please understand that it is not you — it’s them. 
… But – there are better choices to be made.  
Helping the less fortunate IS our purpose. YES! 
But, perhaps we are helping the wrong people, or helping too soon… Helping people in WANT is different than helping people in NEED. If they have less than you – that doesn’t make them needy….  
Personal accountability is the game changer, and a deliberate failure to take that responsibility will act as a hammer… pounding away at the ego until a person  hits REAL rock bottom and breaks through. But the pounding triggers desperation, and desperation searches for a sympathetic/empathetic soul for a “cure.” 
People who have hit rock-bottom have very little shame. They’re broken and openly seeking salvation – not handouts. They are ready to submit themselves to the Savior because they have finally broken free of the ego’s hold. 
At that 👆point, any and all acts of generosity and kindness carry SO much more power, and they trigger the soul’s humility. It is the desire to “work to earn” – It’s a survival instinct – Their “will to live.” 
It’s deeper than the mental and emotional levels that get caught up in defensive egotistical opinions, sense  of entitlement, and pity parties. 
It’s primal. 
Don’t be disappointed when you try to help and are refused or even used… Because what you DID do was make that person’s accountability hammer heavier, faster, and more precise – accelerating the inevitable breakdown and breakthrough.
“Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.” <— keep giving fishing lessons!😉
Compassion goes bad when we try to cushion someone’s fall to rock bottom. That’s not benevolence. That kind of aid can actually become an addiction to those who are in need. They begin to crave the attention, they will do just about anything to “survive,” they manipulate and abuse those who try to help, and – as with any other addiction – they are just distracting themselves from facing the internal conflict that could ultimately save their lives…. 
It’s sad, to me, how hard people fight to avoid their own “darkness.” –because It’s not darkness. It is depth
They make the trials so much worse than they need to be, and then convince themselves that they’re “surviving.” 
No. They’re just avoiding… And they’re grasping — or DEMANDING — a life raft… The problem at this point is that people who “hustle,” expect, demand a handout are not truly in need. Needs are basic necessities to sustain LIFE — not comfort or convenience. 
“Beggars can’t be choosers.” <— “CAN’T”– not ‘shouldn’t’.  It’s physically impossible for a truly needy person to pick and choose resources. They take what they can get because their life depends on it.  
We are not saviors. We are *builders*. 
In order to Explore our depths we will always need a Savior to pull us up. That’s why so many recovering addicts find Jesus. That’s why the serenity prayer, group meetings, and bible studies are so widely received in prisons and rehab facilities. That’s why Jesus spent His time with the outcasts, the vagrants, the prostitutes, the criminals… Because they were actually READY to receive His message. Once they were finally broken by the world – with a depleted ego that couldn’t fight anymore – Jesus met them in their darkness, shined His light, and told them how to open their eyes — just like He does for us now. He’s always waiting on us in our depths. We just spend too much time, effort, and energy avoiding the unpleasantness of  the spiritual growth process.
The urge to help is strong – because that’s just our nature. Never stop helping! The world needs us. But the WAY we help can make all the difference.
 Inspire, encourage, build up, and guide — help them find their own light. That’s what the world needs. 
Tough love is lasting love!! 
Then, when you come across someone truly in need – you’ll have the will and the energy to happily meet their needs, and their searching souls will reflect genuine gratitude. 
  
❤M

Stop Giving Your Heart Away! -Written by a former commitment-phobic spirit.

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STOP GIVING YOUR HEART AWAY! 

Personally, I think love is overly romanticized. We are conditioned to believe 1 of 2 things: either it has to be “beautifully tragic” or that it is only REAL if it (somehow) never hurts.

(…Sigh…)

Ok, Let’s think about love in a logical way… I find it odd that when we speak in terms of heartache and hurt feelings we say terms like “BROKEN heart” and “WOUNDED pride”… How fragile are we?

Perhaps love wouldn’t seem so intimidating if it wasn’t so fatal. If maybe we took more personal responsibility for our own hearts they wouldn’t be broken so easily. 

When we give our hearts away to someone we basically give them one more thing for which to be responsible, and then we’re left with an overly powerful brain that no longer has its counterbalance.  We get paranoid, neurotic, and we throw words like “trust,” “loyalty,” and “fidelity” around in all the wrong ways. 

Commitments cease to be mutually agreed upon endeavors. They become more like prison sentences. Jail cells with bars made out of obligations and responsibilities. And decisions are then made based on what we “should” do instead of what we “want” to do. 

Relationships are supposed to strengthen both people and set each other free in a way that only the feeling of someone having your back and encouraging you can do. Instead, they often turn into an obstacle course of distrust and a breeding ground for secrets – daring that significant other to mess up and drop that oh-so delicate heart of ours… 

THE PRESSURE!

How about, instead of giving your heart away… Keep it. USE it. Channel real, healing love from God – the kind that needs the mind to enable deep understanding, the kind that is free from opinion, judgement, and expectations – and wrap your partner up in it. Let go of paranoia through full acceptance. Fall in love with who they ARE, not who they could be. Give them a safe place to fall rather than being the reason they topple over. Lighten and share their load, don’t add to it. Be a team member, not a boss. 

Communicate with your heart – with feelings/facts. Listen to their intentions and hear  between their lines. Be aware of what they MEAN, instead of picking apart their words. Understand the difference between responses and reactions – that responses are thoughtfully considered, and reactions are triggered. Understand that disagreement DOESNT mean disapproval. It means they are their own person with their own feelings, thoughts, and ideals. 

We can ONLY share love when we take responsibility for our own hearts. Use them TOWARD and FOR one another. 
 Our hearts are not commodities or collateral – they are instrumental tools that need to be utilized and maintained in order to embrace the full experience of connection with someone else.

The relationship isn’t the whole experience. 
Existence within a relationship doesn’t override our own identities. 
Love isn’t an obligation. It’s an opportunity. 
Love grows, heals, and strengthens the heart that channels it. 
Your heart is yours. Why give it away?

On the other hand:
Oppositely- if someone tries to give you their heart – know that they are only familiar with ego love. That they are depending upon you to function for them. And if they are so quick to give their heart away – how capable do you think they’ll be of protecting yours. 
They are the type to manipulate, threaten, push your buttons, retaliate, seek to hurt when they feel hurt, and only focus on “fairness” …
There is a reason they are so “heartless” … Think about it. ❤️

Well … YOU ASKED FOR IT! <3

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OBSERVATION:   
I find it odd at that so many of us (Empathic types) are in tune with nature and care for this creation in a way that the unawakened never could; but for some reason we decide to become unglued at the slightest onset of adversity …

SEE, WE ARE THE EARTH:

We are just like the soil – made of energy, mass, and the fundamental elements for growing, producing, and sustaining life. We are made to form symbiotic relationships with others around us, and take part in both the DEstructive and CONstructive processes that keep the kinetic energy ball rolling …

HERE’S THE DEAL:

When someone in our lives hurts us, offends us, or just rubs us the wrong way – they are breaking ground. They are, pardon the pun, the *tool* that aerates and breaks up the parts of us where new growth is possible and necessary. Yes, it hurts – but how often does a seed thrown on petrified rock actually take root and flourish?

The victim in us likes to think that anything uncomfortable or painful is unnecessary and/or unfair – but that just isn’t logical, practical, or pragmatic. It is just … well … selfish.

TRUTH BOMB:

We must have our soil tilled and aerated in order for the seeds (the blessings in the trials) to put forth its uniquely necessary and called upon fruit. Many times we beg for mercy, we pray for strength, and we cry for help – then get upset when God doesn’t hook us up to some kind of ‘Divine’ morphine drip. We begin the painful process of losing faith while God is actually delivering the seeds we requested.

–When our hearts are broken by someone, we begin to blame ourselves for inadequacy – while God plants the seed of independence.

–When we are abused – emotionally, verbally, physically, mentally – we begin to accept that we aren’t worthy of love and respect – while God plants the seeds of faith and acceptance of His higher order.

–When we feel unappreciated, we begin to assume nobody cares if we even exist – while God plants the seeds of humility, servitude, and virtue.

BE YOUR OWN CHANGE:

So, the next time you feel bullied, unloved, disrespected, hurt, broken hearted, and downtrodden – turn your thoughts OFF and your intuition ON. Return to God – ask Him to point out the lesson to be learned through this trial, and look deep within for His answer. Find the positive outcome you want to see in your life, and understand that YOU ARE WITNESSING THE MANIFESTATION OF THAT CHANGE that is being delivered to you.  We create our own realities. We tend our own gardens. You can either let your garden be overgrown and overrun by outsiders, or you can appreciate the tilling, pruning, and weeding process that helps bring forth abundance.

BLOOM, BABY!

YOU plant the seed (ask), and God will always water it (and ye shall receive) – but only as long as you participate.  It’s a team effort – keeping in mind  — YOU REAP WHAT YOU SEW. ❤

“I Feel Incomplete!” – MIND*BODY*SOUL Unification

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We are a trifecta. We cannot function properly unless we engage and love all 3 aspects, and become a whole being – and that’s just the first step …

IMPORTANT ROLES  OF EACH PART:

The BODY (physical matter) absorbs energetic waves from people/experiences, reacts through physical feelings. The feelings are manifestations of one’s intuitive knowledge, and can relay messages that brain can misunderstand, misinterpret, or miss altogether.

The MIND (Molecules) ) receives the body’s signals and labels those feelings as emotions. The logical mind’s (the ego) job is to respond out of protection. It is the operator of the mechanical abilities of the body. It’s responsible for  reacting  appropriately to the body’s signals:  Stop the bad. Prolong the good.

The SOUL (Atoms) is the proactive, positive  life force within us – the ‘gravity-like’ influence that is tied to our intuition (higher consciousness). It  looks for solutions to problems from within. Without the Soul, the body would physically  break down, and the mind would act as an exposed nerve that is at the mercy of the physical world around it.

THE SHORTHAND VERSION:

The BODY –IDENTIFIES

The MIND –REACTS

The SOUL – NAVIGATES

INCOMPLETE EQUATIONS:

—Engaging only MIND+SOUL = Self Righteousness. “I’m better because I know more.” -Treating spirituality as a competition rather than an individual journey, and having no understanding of one’s role in the collective connectedness of the universe.

—Engaging only BODY+SOUL = Arrogance, prone to quickly judge others based only on what you perceive is “right” and “acceptable” according to your understanding of how society works. —

Engaging only MIND+BODY = Having a victim mentality, feelings of being “constantly under attack” by life and/or other people’s supposed judgments and actions.

ALL TOGETHER NOW:

As long as all 3 pieces are equally nourished and cared for, they will work in beautiful synchronicity for your higher purpose … It is our responsibility to strengthen, protect, and maintain our whole being. ❤

WE’RE ALL PHASED BY THIS:

We aren’t just a certain “type” where our equations are concerned. We go through phases … the ebb and flow of our inner consciousness changes when we neglect one of the 3 aspects of the whole self. This is why BALANCE is so important, and why concentrating on our own balance first is more important than focusing on the balance of others.  Let God direct your service.  He can do amazing things for others THROUGH you when you’re able to function properly.

SCIENTIFIC BREAKDOWN:

Remember – we are pure energy – Energy is defined as “the ability to do work.” – Energy is constantly flowing – that is why we are *human BEINGS* … WE ARE ALIVE!

There are 2 states of energy: Potential energy (ready to move, but held by a block or resistant force), and Kinetic energy (already active).

Our beings are made up of MATTER – matter is made of Molecules – molecules are made up of ATOMS – the electromagnetic bond within the protons/neutrons and electrons within the Atoms is activated by the energy from the sun – Therefore: WE ARE PURE ENERGY.

That sums up our ability to function toward our higher purpose … but what is the FORCE behind it all? What is the motivation?  (That was a whole lot of basic Physics info  – and its about to be backed up by … the Bible … *gasp*) 

ENERGETICALLY & SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING:

We have the Atoms (soul) inside the Molecules (mind) that make up the Matter (body) … What activates the Soul?

GENSIS 1:1-2 states, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit (life energy) of God was hovering (kinetic/active) over the face of the waters.”

The Holy Spirit has been the life-presence literally from the beginning. The word SPIRIT refers to the Godly life-energy that fills the soul – just as blood fills our veins. The Spirit and the Soul are united, but can become separate … It is within one’s HEART that the Soul, Spirit, and physical life (body) come together –

GOD CREATED LIGHT. LIGHT IS ENERGY. ENERGY IS LIFE. LIFE IS IN THE SOUL. THE SOUL CONNECTS THE BEING. THE  BEING IS MATTER. MATTER = MOLECULES AND ATOMS. MOLECULES AND ATOMS =ENERGY. ENERGY COMES FROM THE SUN. THE SUN IS LIGHT. GOD CREATED LIGHT …

AND THIS CYCLE ORIGINATES IN THE HEART – WHICH IS WHY LOVE AND POSITIVE INTENTIONS ARE VITAL TO OUR EXISTENCE.

(Hebrews 4:12) ” For the word of God is living (spirit) and active (kinetic energy), sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Understand the following:

God granted us free will – it is what separates us from being fully God-like, and Human nature is inherently evil. Upon the soul’s entrance into the physical world as babies, the soul and the spirit are fully intact. But it is through our earthly conditioning, and Satan’s ability to access and influence us, that we end up “quench[ing] (as in ‘extinguishing’) the Spirit”  (1 Thess. 5:19).  (This is also why children are innocent, more in tune with their souls and bodies, less logical – more pure/perfect than adults. We DON’T spiritually know more then they do – they just don’t know the value or extent of that knowledge.)

APPLYING THIS INFORMATION:

Yes, we all have souls – but without the Spirit, the soul’s divine purpose is forgotten, and instead of working towards fulfilling that divine purpose and returning to Heaven, it will wander aimlessly through this lifetime – unsatisfied and empty.

God works through us once we re-access His holy Spirit – that is how He actively dwells within us.

SO, WHAT AM I MISSING?

Take inner inventory:

The Mind recognizes there is an emptiness, the Soul knows it needs to be filled, and will search for satisfaction, and the Body physically identifies whether or not the tested options for fulfillment work or not.

Without the Spirit feeding the Soul, human beings will try vice after vice to fill the void – money, power, sex, drugs, alcohol, activism, ‘keeping up with the Jones’ syndrome, shopping, toxic relationships, etc.  – Each ‘band-aid’ dulls one or 2 of our aspects, and only offers temporary/unstable satisfaction, and will eventually and/or potentially lead to physical death. Once a soul is too far gone down a dead end road – there are no more options.

We don’t just WANT to find our purpose … we NEED to find our purpose.

HOW TO REALLY FIND YOURSELF:

Take care of the physical body – keeping the energy centers clear and functional, purified and natural.

Take care of the mind – keeping it active, alert, and tuned in for more accurate communication with the body.

Take care of the soul – regarding and respecting its search for its purpose, follow its lead, and allow it physical access to the Holy Spirit (God’s word, study, read, immerse yourself – it speaks your truth.)

MOST IMPORTANTLY – ALLOW THE SPIRIT TO CLOAK YOUR WHOLE SELF IN GOD’S LOVE LIGHT – THAT IS, IN ESSENCE, THE “FULL ARMOR OF GOD” THAT WILL PROTECT YOU ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY.

Then, and only then,  will you find your purpose, experience inner peace, strengthen your faith, and begin to lift the energy vibrations of the universe.

Luckily, God Leaves Voicemails

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One of the first dreams I can remember having has stuck with me for probably more than 20 years now. I dreamt that I was standing in the middle of a very narrow, but very long suspension bridge. I was over a body of water, but the water wasn’t moving. It was windy, but no matter which direction I turned, the wind was always at my back.  I would look over one side of the railing, feel the cold on my face, and  I would see happy people down below, inviting me to join in their fun.  When I would step to the other side rail I would see nobody – however – there was a sense of curiosity and calmness that kept me facing that direction, and (oddly) my hair seemed to keep me warm, as the wind swept it forward, and wrapped it around my neck and shoulders.  Sometimes I would be alone on this bridge, other times I would be surrounded by people – just numerous unfamiliar, unmemorable faces.

I never gave it much thought, and actually forgot about it for years; but recently I’ve been getting flashbacks and memories are resurfacing. My attention is being called, and since I have promised to follow my heart on this journey, I have been praying and meditation on every aspect of this dream that I can recall.

I’ve mentioned before how much I love symbolism – and I’m pretty sure that is how I receive my messages “from the universe” – Symbols, to me, are God’s voicemails. I may have missed the call completely – but the message will be stored in my inbox until I finally decide to check it out.

This dream of mine is symbolic of the overall tone of my life experience thus far. That bridge is my symbol for that point at which we all find ourselves deciding whether to be a leader or a follower. The wind always being at my back represents the direction that I would be moving based on either decision. My hair wrapping around me – well, that probably explains my strange (and borderline obsessive) dependence on it to this day – but, going deeper, it represents the feeling of safety and security I experienced every time I faced the side of the bridge where nobody was waiting for me down below.  The times that I was alone on the bridge – I was viewing the beckoning crowd –> representative of making the decision to be a follower. I felt cold, and these friendly people were warm and welcoming. And finally, the times I was surrounded by people, feeling calm, and my hair was comforting me —> those are the times I was making the decision to be the leader, as my company awaited my guidance.

I have been tormented by the duality of life decisions for as far back as I can remember because, to me, EVERY decision was either good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative, responsible or irresponsible, smart or stupid, quick or contemplative  – it couldn’t ever JUST BE A SIMPLE DECISION … That’s an extremely heavy cross to bear as a child, adolescent, teen, young adult, and even now as an adult.  I’ve made my fair share of decisions that went against my intuition because of my greed, my addiction to instant gratification, and my rebellion – and oddly enough, those are the decisions that have given me the most peace and validation. It wasn’t out of disrespect for authority – though, as a kid, I could be pretty downright disrespectful. I’ve never had a problem with authority … My rebellion stemmed from an inability to express myself, my inner battle between my intuition and my conscience, and my need for freedom.

When I made a decision to break rules, or that would garner the most undesirable consequences – I knew I consciously made those on my own. I didn’t “give in,” or follow anyone blindly – I felt empowered! Punished … but empowered. I now understand why my consciousness operates this way –

As I look back on the road map of my 32 years, those decisions that I made no longer have a polarity label. They were game changers, mile markers, points of personal growth that kept my life from being stagnant.  They may not have been approved of at the time, they may have caused others some inconvenience, and they may have caused some type of emotional scarring … but each and every time I may have messed up (… it was a lot of times …) I ALWAYS turned to God.

In crisis, in worry, in guilt, in pain, in sadness, in heartache, in devastation, in loss, in grief, in EVERY PIT AND VALLEY — I turned to God. I pulled away from family and friends – not because I was “depressed” or becoming a recluse… I distanced myself because MY SOUL took over when my mind was clouded, and knew to make room for God. My physical being does not get the credit for anything. Its not supposed to. It is a vehicle for my soul. When I get distracted by ‘human-ness’ my soul calls for a meeting with God. I imagine a small, shiny, beautiful angel with big, bright green eyes crying to God because she lost control of the vehicle and ran out of gas.

God, my loving and patient Father, comes to my rescue – every time, on time. He picks me up, puts me back on track, and refuels my spirit – it is in these moments when I’m transported back to that suspension bridge.  I feel the familiar wind behind me, encouraging me to keep moving instead of standing still in my current condition. And my hair? Well … it feels more like angel wings wrapped around me – making me feel safe and confident once again. 

The moral of all of this is to understand that each and every one of us is connected to God on a very personal and fundamental level. The tie that binds us is not in our physical hands – we can’t just let it go on accident.  We are an extension of Him. GOD is built in to our beings, and exists in the mind’s eye. God IS our intuition – that is HIS direction and HIS guidance being communicated through subtle signs, dreams, and messages that catch our attention – but it is OUR responsibility to connect the dots that outline our higher purpose.

Don’t dismiss your intuition just because you may not understand it at the time. Don’t analyze or interpret it within the limitations of logic either.  These are messages of strength, loving intention, grace, and mercy – and they will unfold for you when you’re ready to accept your position by giving God full control.  Intuition is the soul’s voice. Tune in to it, commit to following it, and watch your life change as your awareness strengthens and the fog lifts.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14

Life is Like A Box of Chocolates … Until Somebody Dies.

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We are all Empaths.  Every human being is born with the ability to feel empathy to some degree … It is THE most basic of psychic gifts, and is the physical embodiment of our soul as we enter the physical world.

I’ll be honest – I used to claim to not like children … Even before having the ones who didn’t belong to me…
Then I realized that it was only because I didn’t understand them. At the heart of my issue was a deep-seeded fear of failure and a heaping dose of self-doubt.  I was intimidated by them – my kids included – because they are small, uninhibited, chaotic balls of raw emotions – and *BONUS* they lack the physical developmental skills of clear and accurate communication! So, basically, I would be in the vicinity of a child and I would absorb their natural emotions – which were wrapped in frustration (due to the underdeveloped ability to communicate), and rolled in a fun, sticky layer of harsh and explosive FEELINGS — Seriously. Kids are fun-sized atomic bombs with shoddy wiring. Point blank.

Unaware of this highly sensitive intuitive “GIFT” of mine, I developed a very real sense of unworthiness (of the responsibility), inability to control my temper when triggered (classic short-fuse), and, you know, the high expectations of just remembering to feed them, bathe them, and keep them alive… Why? Because every plant I ever owned passed away within days of being in my care because I forgot to water them (and didn’t want them blocking my window.  (*hangs head*) My gerbil, “Squeakers,” died because he choked on the wood chips in his cage (Really … what kind of GERBIL does that.) And last but not least – the goldfish I won at a school carnival LITERALLY JUMPED OUT OF THE TANK! (Who needs a suicidal fish anyway. Amiright?) So every living thing that was dependent on me died in very careless (on my part), and tragic (on their part) ways … Needless to say, I was not beating down doors and offering my baby-sitting services. 

I repelled living things – it was obvious.  My psyche used that against me, and when you consider that my own brother seemed to hate me since as far back as I can remember, and I was in the care of two over-achieving, super-steady, always predictable  parents –> all signs pointed to the large, overhead, neon sign that spelled out “UNABLE” – with a handy blinking arrow pointing directly at me.   

And all the above happened before I was 13 years old … Overthink much?? *sigh*

I was raised by some very by-the-book conservative Christians. Lovely people –  very structured, very regimented, very particular about time, plans, and schedules – imagination was praised, but not rewarded, necessarily (which was not uncommon back then), and when it was clear that I did not fit into the public school system’s box, my parents placed me in a Christian school = which only proved to me how far they were willing to go to help me reach my potential. There weren’t many options to choose from then, and as a family of 4, they both needed to work. Boy did they work – hard – to provide the fundamental foundation for my brother and me, which is something I think we both fully respected and appreciated, yet managed to manifest in completely opposite ways.

Both were/are very faithful Christians … but, like so many other good people in the world – their beliefs, to my developing mind, seemed more fear-based than magical.  I grew up under the whole “having the fear of God in your heart” concept. I have ALWAYS had a very hard time believing He (God) was an Authoritarian type, so selling that to myself and my own children has been borderline unsuccessful to say the least.

God is LOVE.

As a child, I associated the word “fear” with being scared, even though in biblical terms it means ‘respect’.  Now that I’m an adult – I may KNOW and recognize that difference, but have really struggled to uproot it out of my subconscious … Until recently. 

See,  I voluntarily respect God  because of how safe I feel in His love, not because I am afraid of what He’ll do to me if I step out of line. He is a fair and just Creator;  patient, loving, and kind. He doesn’t give pop-quizzes; nor does He set us up to fail.  He is the highest example of a leader in that He makes sure we are given the necessary training, equipment, and experience before sending us out to battle. We are in HIS army – fighting the good fight for the good of those who love him …

All souls are passing through this physical world on their way back to Heaven. We are sent here to do a job – we’re the seekers, the truth-tellers, the healers of the brokenhearted. 

Understanding my purpose here gives me the strength I need to endure ridicule and the blow to my ego when people distance themselves from me.  I have confidence because God has confidence in my abilities and my fortitude.  As I keep my eyes and heart attuned to His leadership, negativity rolls off of me, and fades into the background, without it even tempting me to look backwards.   People who leave – no matter what type of bond we had – have become transformed, in my mind, into exams from which God has deemed me exempt. 

Guilt becomes the clear voice of darkness telling me that speaking MY truth – GOD’s truth –  will hurt people who love me, and that REAL lightworkers are not supposed to hurt others.  The bigger picture … My higher consciousness – God’s Voice – tells me that I am a human BEING, here to do a job, and that job is allowing God to work through me by BEING a living, breathing example of His TRUTH.

The key word here is *truth* – our purpose is not to ‘make it’ through this life. Our souls originated in Heaven, and have been sent here to ‘seek and save the lost’ on our way back to our Heavenly home. The reality is that we face the same temptations as Jesus did, but some souls lose their way and forget their purpose.  They become shackled to the world; buried so deep that their souls’  lights cannot be seen to  the unaware/unawakened eye.  But WE know that the only thing that will save those that have been put in our paths is exemplifying the truth – Getting to the root of the person, and convicting the heart. 

People can be offended, angered, aggressive, or hateful – that’s fine with me, as I know those are superficial FEELINGS that are masking their true emotions – frustration, embarrassment, and shame. It is not my job, nor my intention, to judge.  I am on this earth to heal, not bandage; to accept, not accuse; and to embrace, not shun.   I am simply breaking through the cold,  unfertilized ground that has grown over their spirit.  By pricking the heart, I am aerating the soul-soil – allowing emotions to flow out, around, and through like water, and letting God’s love light penetrate through, so that the seed of truth can be planted in the most fertile and welcoming environment possible. 

The more cultivated the heart-land becomes, the stronger and deeper the roots will grow. This is why nurturing children to be their true selves is more important than making them behave, or developing  their  grades, athletic ability, or social standing … If we provide them with a well-maintained heartland they have a far better chance of embracing THEIR soul’s purpose here,  than if we simply scrape the surface and stick some superficial values and opinions under some loose dust….

Had it not been for my unsuccessful attempts with plants, rodents, and fish, I wouldn’t have recognized the immense responsibility of being a mother.

Had it not been for my fear of failure, I wouldn’t have fully relished the satisfaction of each and every personal success I’ve experienced along my journey.

Had it not been for my parents stability, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to fall, to learn, to feel the safety of their unconditional love.

Had it not been for my freedom to express myself as a child, I wouldn’t have followed my intuition when I felt the need to go against the grain.

Everything happens for a reason – there is no such thing as coincidence.  I can now look back at my life and where I used to see struggle and darkness, I now see growth, love, and light. 

Can you say the same thing? Are you where you are meant to be? Are you BEING of service to your fellow man, looking for those in need?

Or are you feeling trampled on, thrown around, taken advantage of, or victimized .. If that is the case, then you are one of the ones who need a hand. You need help uncovering your light and getting back on track to your soul’s purpose.  If you feel like you’re a good person, but you’re full of worry, heartache, and sadness – it is because you have the right intentions, but have been buried by the negative energies that come from an out-of-tune perspective. 

 

We’re all healers.  It’s time to get back to work.  ❤

 

What Were You Expecting?

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One of the most egotistical things we as humans are guilty of is having expectations.  What’s worse is that we often think we that our expectations act as filters to sort of ‘sift out’ the bad from the good that we allow into our lives.  I’m all for having standards, don’t get me wrong, but expectations are different. 

The basis for setting any expectations at all is fear. We are afraid of being lied to, taken advantage of, hurt, or mistreated in any of the other devastating ways, and in the avoidance of that FEAR  we lose the ability to HEAR the guidance of  our inner, higher selves.  imagine living a life of acceptance, love, and patience – it IS possible. The only ones who stand in our way of such an existence are ourselves. 

I have personally reached a point in my life where I see the value in disappointment. I see clarity and God’s purpose for my life the most when I am unable to get what I want.  There is no better time to see the love of my God than when He uses tough love because I know He is saving me from myself. This lesson came about only after I had ignored His direction many times before, only to end up in devastation – questioning why He had let this happen (you know, since he IS ALL-KNOWING, and what not). By looking backwards, I saw past the point of His allowing me to demonstrate my free-will. I saw past the point of me turning off my intuition and tuning into my ego. I saw clear back to the point of the challenge and temptation that He had placed in my path, and it became very clear that I had ignored His warnings.  I really had known better, but I did it anyway.  Every time we indulge the physical ego we miss out on a chance to progress in our journeys.

I hear all the time, “I just wish …,” and “I can’t believe …,” <— possessing these types of statements is toxic  to our own spiritual development because we are setting ourselves up for failure. PLEASE recognize that these thoughts – though they may seem innocent – are just a defense mechanism created by the ego to avoid disappointment.  The more we avoid disappointment, the more resentful and cynical we become toward everyone; and the more cynical we become, the harder it is to express love and concern – and, as a result,  our hearts become hardened.  How then – I ask you – are we to “Seek and save the lost,” if we are too busy criticizing everything and everyone?

 Repeat after me … I CANNOT CONTROL, DICTATE, SCRIPT OR CHOREOGRAPH THE WORDS, ACTIONS, OR INTENTIONS OF ANYONE ELSE BUT MYSELF!

The sooner we own this reality, the faster we begin to grow into our higher selves and hold ourselves accountable FIRST and FOREMOST in our interactions among other beings.  Having wishes of how things “should’ve” “could’ve” or “would’ve” played out shackles us in a dark void of victim-mentality.  “I wish he would’ve done ________!” Why? What do we assume the next part of that sentence would be – that we would magically be happier?

Happiness is not dependent on another person.  It doesn’t matter how horribly people treat you – if you are at peace within yourself, if you have learned to maintain the balance between ego and spirit within your heart, and if you are able to view your life from the perspective of your WHOLE SELF – high above this physical world – you will not be swayed by the opinions, emotions, and harshness of others. 

Happiness begins when you let go of expectations. Happiness continues through the struggles to which life brings you, and happiness lasts when you find solace and security in the Divine Source who is by your side and ready to aid when you feel like toppling over. 

Don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re so innocent … You may “just wish” things were different, and people were nicer or more responsible, but the fact of the matter is – you are wishing people would pause in their own journeys just to appease you and your personal universe – to make YOUR life easier … Life isn’t about living on Easy Street. It’s about growth, love, and fulfilling your soul’s purpose right along side everyone else. We are all connected. Our pasts, our present, our futures – we are all souls seeking our reward in Heaven – as a collective. Its our JOB to get there – yes, but it is our PRIVILEGE to help whoever crosses our paths along the way. 

IF you feel that you are at the mercy of everyone around you, you will continue to come face to face with people who are specifically there to hurt, take advantage of, and annoy you because you have yet to accept them with love in your heart, tolerate their behavior with compassion, and overcome this personal obstacle within yourself.  You will not grow as a spiritual being until this is accomplished, and you will most definitely find the manifestations of such defensiveness in your physical body through pain, disease, and stress … Do yourself a favor and just LETTIGO!

YOUR journey is yours alone – just you, your God, your angels, your guides, your messengers, your ego, and your soul . If you’re going to talk the talk about ‘fighting the good fight’, then you may want to take a deep introspective look at yourself and see whether or not you are, or have been, walking the walk at the same time. Don’t expect people to protect you – God and His Angels are protecting you everyday. Don’t expect people to respect you – just respect them, because 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Don’t expect to be happy ONLY if things work out in your best interest – disappointment and pain are essential to our growth, as it is from these experiences that we learn true empathy, compassion, and personal inner strength and love.

The universe is consistently  being infused with light and love thanks to those who have endured hardships, and learned the power of God’s grace and mercy. They send out their love vibrations by letting their own lights shine  through gratitude and positivity; and in doing so, they are inspiring people to want to live like them. When you allow your light to shine, you will attract those who need love the most – and they won’t always be very kind… It is absolutely necessary to know how to demonstrate acceptance and compassion so that God can work through you in their lives.  If you claim your relationship with your Creator, you cannot — CANNOT — exist behind the barriers of expectations.  Its that simple.

We will all be held accountable for our actions and intentions on Judgment Day,… Where would you go if God decides to show you the same level of grace you show His other children?

 

Isn’t That the Work of the Devil?!

ImageWhat do you think of when I say the word ‘psychic’? How about astrology, numerology, Reiki healing, Chakras, Auras, cleansing, visions, clairvoyance, clairsentient, medium, ghosts, spirit, energy vampires …

Are you cringing? Rolling your eyes, maybe? I encourage you to put down the judgment stick (your pointer finger), put the guilt feelings on pause, and open your heart and mind as I bridge the gap of understand for you.

Many of us feel more comfortable with words like ‘faith’, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, love, compassion, honor, etc., am I right? We understand that there is a difference between a believer and a nonbeliever, and as Christians, we know that our purpose is to spread the word to ‘every corner of the earth’ to save lost souls, and allow them the chance to accept Christ as their personal Savior so that they may be blessed with eternal life with our God in Heaven … Amen.  (That was a pretty full mash-up of all the religious words and subjects I could think of right off the top of my head. Not bad, huh?)

**Warning: Toes will be stepped on in this next part – but please bear with me. You will see why I am not sorry for this soon.**

Then we notice people not DOING what we believe they ought to be DOING to live right.  They don’t go to church every time worship is in session, they aren’t erring on the side of caution at all times. They are hanging out with questionable people, they are watching R-rated movies, and their music has a curse word in them. *Gasp!*  As parents, we are scared of the outside influences that our children will face when no longer under our protection and guidance, and we are conditioned as a society to stay on the defensive.

Why? The simple answer is one ugly 4-letter word that is the key to our undoing … FEAR.

Fear is what makes us human.  Fear is a natural response. Fear is also addicting, over-valued, and the greatest stumbling block on our spiritual journeys.

In order to be a proactive, lost soul-seeking Christian light in a world of darkness, you must first get out from under your human bushel and stop hiding! People, we hide when we’re afraid. If people sense we are afraid – how effective are we going to be in getting them to Heaven?

I am what is referred to in the New Age way of thinking as an Empath – a highly intuitive-sensitive person who is very aware of various types of energies, and possess a natural ability to connect with my Higher consciousness. That basically means I have an easier time relating to my soul than most people, and I find it difficult to navigate the world because I don’t feel very connected to it.  That can be both a blessing and a curse – and has been both in various stages of my life that I will share with you as we go on.

I don’t “know” how I know these things. I just … know. — That is a sentence I often use. Though I usually do really love having a built-in lie detector, its nothing that makes me ‘special’ in comparison to everyone else because everyone has the same ability. But at this point in my spiritual development, I KNOW that my higher calling is to be a tool God uses to teach others how to connect with their own souls, understand on a very literal level how important it is to their own salvation, and how strong they can/will become once they unify the natural, human self with their divine, spiritual self.

This is the beginning of the next chapter of my spiritual journey. This is me – facing my own fears of inadequacy, unworthiness, comprehension abilities, and follow-through. I gave my soul permission to guide my life since  the beginning of this year, and it has brought me here to this very moment – with you. There’s no going back for me, and I am beyond thrilled to get in deep with how I got here, how to find God’s voice, how to physically experience your own impact and role in God’s plan, how to understand what “putting on the armor of God” really means, and how to tell if you’re just going through the motions of Christianity — AND I’LL BE ABLE TO PROVIDE PROOF WITH SCIENCE AND THE BIBLE!

LOVE*

A Journey of A Thousand Accidents …

ImageI know its been a long time since I began this great “blogging” idea, but there’s a reason for that.

Sometimes, when I feel inspired, I get all excited about it and the anticipation feels overwhelming. Then – as has been my experience over the past 32 years of my life – my bubble deflates, and I lose that passion I was so riled up about to begin with. Well, not anymore. You see, although I get excited about things, I very rarely know what exactly it is that I’m heading towards. Its always just some obscure ‘feeling’ of something great to come.  Confusing? Just a little …

This journey towards clarity  all started nearly a year ago when I began to contemplate what my New Year’s resolution would be for 2013. I’ll be honest – I don’t make the kinds of resolutions that set myself up to fail. I like to feel a sense of accomplishment, and I like to be reasonable in my ability to follow through. You see, I have decorated my comfort zone in all of my favorite colors, knickknacks, smells, tastes, etc., and should have felt right at home.  Sadly, I wasn’t happy in my allotted personal space, but had no idea why. I mean, it was warm, cozy, and familiar!  Finally, one day I felt myself get so annoyed with someone I was speaking to because she kept talking herself out of doing something she clearly wanted to do. “I probably wouldn’t finish anyway,” she said. “‘ll probably fail.” Completely out of character for me, I responded, “If you feel strongly about something then follow your passion!”

What the what?!

I am logical. I am cautious. I am analytical. I can dissect any person, place, or thing with ease and purpose, and I love to state my opinions in the form of a precise declarative sentence; but most of all, I love to base those opinions on facts and figures – NOT feelings…. Feelings always seemed so wishy-washy and inconsistent. I liked when things stayed the same. That meant they were dependable, stable, and safe…. So it was very unlike me to encourage someone, against what I would consider to be her  ‘better judgment’, to follow some strong (though probably fleeting)  feeling she was experiencing at the time.

The craziest part was that  it felt GOOD! It felt natural! And when I actually said it out loud, it transformed ‘feeling’ into FACT for me.  I made my decision not too long after that conversation, that my 2013 New Year’s resolution would be to follow my feelings instead of my thoughts.

That’s right. Me – a Capricornian woman through and through. A stoic, dry-humored, talented, left-brained, over- thinker who based all of her decisions on a very long, involved process of analysis, list-making, mathematical-esque equations, and deductive reasoning …*I*  – would take a completely different approach to this thing called ‘life’ for the first time (so I thought) in 32 years and start  … *FEELING* (shudder).

When I made my usual declarative statement about my decision (quietly, to myself, so that nobody would laugh), I experienced such a rush of excitement! I thought, “Why not?! I’m in a good, steady place in my life. If ever there was a time to be frivolous and crazy with my decision-making, this would be it!”  HAHA – yeah. I wasn’t even taking myself seriously at that point. But, without even realizing it – that would soon change. …

The truth is, I’ve always been over-emotional. I feel things to the core of my being – and I am very easily influenced by this ability. I have report cards from as early as the 2nd grade with notes from my teacher telling my parents I needed to stop being everyone’s counselor and pay closer attention to my work. This ‘ability’ to be everyone’s therapist has followed me – even haunted me at times. If someone is hurting – I absorb their issue, physically and emotionally feel their pain, and instinctually feel the need to fix them.  Conversely, if someone is happy, excited or proud – I, too, become happy, excited, or proud – FOR them (which has its own rewards and curses). There have been countless times when random strangers strike up conversations with me about their problems or life stories – when all I wanted to do was purchase my groceries, fill my gas tank, or do my laundry, and go home.  Places like department stores, malls, warehouse stores, and theme parks cause anxiety attacks and feelings of overwhelm because I inadvertently manage to fuse everyone’s energies into one massive ball and absorb it.  I began to put up walls and barriers around my heart as a way of survival – to protect myself. I became very cynical towards people, and felt bothered by their unwelcomed intrusions. I have a lot of difficulty with intimacy of any kind. Basic human actions, like hugging, shaking hands, and eye contact are still  uncomfortable for me because they are all avenues of energy absorption that I taught myself to block. I have very few people I allow get close to me, and when I do allow them access into my “trust zone,” it is quite difficult to let them go. So you can imagine what a HUGE undertaking it would be for me to actually voluntarily allow myself to open the FEELINGS floodgate after I had shut it off for so long. 

Once the decision to lead a soul-centered life was made, I began to look back over my 32 years and make some observations. I realized that this overly-emotional part of me has been with me the whole time, and that it probably wasn’t a curse, but more like a gift. Unaware of its potential or purpose, I had put this God-given gift in the back of my subconscious’ closet and locked the door. Putting my soul first takes a strong faith, but I’ve always kept that part of me front and center. So, I have unlocked the closet, dug out my gift, and I have been making a conscious effort to learn how to manage, maintain, and utilize it in the manner in which it was intended.

I knew people were drawn to me – regardless of my efforts to ward them off … But what I didn’t know – and what turned this journey into more of a spiritual rebirth than a reawakening – is that its not ‘people’ that are drawn to my person … but rather, my soul is beautifully and wonderfully made to attract other souls who need help.  It took over 3 decades for me to awaken to my purpose, and I am driven with a very powerful passion to connect, explain, clarify, and yes, even CHALLENGE as many people as possible by letting God’s light shine through me. He has granted me a unique perspective on things we take for granted everyday, and an ability to see the positives in everything I encounter. This ‘silver lining’ ability raises my energy vibration, and attracts even more people than before! He took me through trial after trial, struggle after struggle to get me to this point, and I have always known that the hard times in my life were happening for a larger purpose. It is for that reason that I  am able to rejoice in the sunshine after learning to dance in the middle of my storms. 

I’m excited to be able to share with the anyone and everyone my personal journey of discovery  from the past year, and relate just how meaningful it has really been. I have been able to conquer hurdles such as self-doubt, redirection, clarity, ADHD, feelings of overwhelm, and, in turn, regain a very real relationship with God – all while doing the exact opposite of what I ‘thought’ was ‘right’.

I have gone against the grain of the conservative Christians. I have opened my mind and heart to people I thought I needed to shield myself from. I have been blessed with the Divine’s protection through my hardships so that I could gain a unique perspective on religion, spirituality, tradition, education, the “American Dream,”  our personal power, prayer, manifestation, and much, much more.

If you are reading this right now, please know that it is no coincidence that you are here. Everything really does happen for a reason, and if I am able to inspire, comfort, reassure, challenge, and/or relate to even one soul  – then my purpose will be fulfilled.

 Love & Light*

We Live in A World of Spinning Plates

ImageBalance, Balance, Balance!

Now there’s a word most women intimately understand, as most of our daily lives seem like a circus act. Between husbands, kids, home, work, school, social responsibilities, etc., it seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. I used to joke about how I wish I could clone myself so that I could have help getting all tasks accomplished; or jokingly ask some ‘invisible ghost’ to dust a bookshelf while its just hanging out over in the corner … (more on that later). But then that decision to live a soul-centric, or soul-centered,  life came about, and suddenly my priorities shifted. There’s still too much to do – don’t get me wrong. Its just that there’s a  difference in their placement on my priority list.

First – let me clarify some things for you. We are all made in God’s image, yet we are physical human beings.  We have 2 selves within each of us, and it is VITAL to comprehend that we are –> SOULS WITH BODIES. NOT BODIES WITH SOULS.  The reason this is so important is that there must be balance in the unity of our spiritual and human selves in order to fulfill our purposes here in the physical world.  As our preacher recently profoundly pointed out – “Our soul’s desire is to go to Heaven.” (Thank you P.J. Hicks.) We entered our physical form as an intact soul. A soul that originated from our Divine Creator. Our soul – dwelling inside of each one of us – is not ours. It is God’s. Therefore, He DOES very literally dwell inside of us.  He  entrusted His soul to a physical form in order to go into the world and bring the lost souls back – just as He did with Jesus.  Collectively, we have the same mission, but individually we have different paths to follow. Jesus is our human example of a Divine soul fulfilling its purpose. He was a healer. He faced all of the challenges and trials that we still face today, and He fulfilled His Father’s purpose.  It is of utmost importance to allow Spirit – the essence of God, and the lifeblood of our souls – to guide our thoughts, words, actions, and motives in our everyday lives.  How is this accomplished?  Through —>BALANCE<—

You see, God’s a lot smarter than we often give Him credit for, and the deeper I got into things like Astrology, numerology, and energy healing (all inclusive in our spiritual side – NOT our religious side), the more I understood God’s handiwork.  Using my logical “Left-brain,” I was able to make sense of the basic framework of spirituality and human nature, and that sparked my curiosity in such a violent and meaningful way that I became so driven to make more connections.  I like everything to have a category so that I can process information better, and understand it clearer. So, I never understood why I was so dismissive of scientific facts, yet very accepting of this New Age stuff of which my devout Christian parents seemed so leery.  It seemed contradictory and illogical – and that was just unacceptable in my world.  I really struggled. I was lost in a state of confusion for a long time because I felt like I had all the pieces to the puzzle, but I could not for the life of me figure out how they fit together. It was like I had put together the outer frame of a 20,000 piece puzzle, without being able to make connections and fill it in.

 The moment I  dedicated my life to my soul’s purpose, I began to I see differently. I was able to see  the uniformity, fluidity, efficiency, and order all throughout the universe and God’s perfect creation. I see things with appreciation and admiration – yes, absolutely. But more importantly I see God’s form and function. I see intention. Finally, I see … the big picture.

 I say all that to illustrate where my perspective comes from. I have always felt that God existed, and had no need to prove it to myself or anyone else. God proves Himself everyday, therefore, I am compelled to shift my focus from what has already been proven, to what still needs to be done. My soul’s purpose is deeply rooted in the BALANCE between past and future, and in order to keep that BALANCE I have to make it a point to stay in the present – thus ensuring I don’t skip any steps along my way.

Balance represents the polarity and duality of everything everywhere. Heaven and Earth, Light and Dark, Water and land, male and female, Man and beasts, good and evil, left and right, , up and down, right and wrong, nature versus nurture, instinct versus reaction, fight versus flight … the list is endless because duality and balance are essential.

Though one thing might be good, we are taught to assume the other polarity is ‘bad’ – when, in reality, you can’t have one without the other. Therefore both sides of the spectrum are necessary to provide balance.  Understanding this concept took a lot of time, and a lot of personal trials – for which I am eternally grateful … NOW. The fact of the matter is we are beings that are capable of balance in an unbalanced world, but it is up to us to make the CHOICE to seek that balance so that God can work through us. Let HIM spin your many plates. All YOU have to do is be willing to show up.

 I’ll  leave you with this thought for the day:  The more we indulge our physical FEARS, the more we stand in God’s way…

In the following post I will be going deeper into the cause and effect (another important duality) of Fear manifestation, and its affect on our spiritual growth.

Blessings*